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grace in this valley
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Suffering Doesn't Have The Final Say

amy • December 15, 2021

Oh Babesia...

black and white of amy frustrated face with pursed lips sitting  in tan recliner.  Hair pulled back.

How I feel about Babesia... And how my brain feels about treating Babesia! It sure doesn’t like going down without a fight. I've also been finding that Babesia and Bartonella like to wage war against each other, so when you treat one, you need to be trying to knock the other one down at the same time. Such an endless cycle it seems. I am sorry I have been so absent here, but all my energy has been spent homeschooling and fighting these evil diseases in me.  Still in the midst of it, but I finally feel like my head may be above water for the first time in many months. I look forward to the day when I can schedule posting on here and actually be able to accomplish it.


The air hunger that comes with my Babesia is horrible. Those first few years of my illness, we didn't know why I was never able to fully breathe or feel like I had enough air. It would come in waves but would never leave and was one of the first reasons I ended up in the ER the night my body crashed for the first time. It was initially blamed on asthma, and then my Dysautonomia and POTS (postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome).  Even Mayo Clinic had no clue how to treat me the multiple times I ended up in their ER after being diagnosed with POTS through one of their Doctors. When mold came into the picture, my lack of air was blamed fully on the mold and mycoplasma and then later on Mast Cell Activation Syndrome and now finally Babesia with a side of all the other things. All I know is that I just want to breathe!


For my body, normal asthma treatments would only heighten and worsen the already scary symptoms.  So for years I have gone with very little relief except for the herbal treatments my angel of a Naturopath would provide for me and the special chiropractic adjustments that would reset both my body and my nervous system and open up my lungs.  I have found a huge difference in mold asthma and Babesia air hunger.  And when you have both together and then add mast cells issues on top of everything... It is just heartbreaking.


Through all the ups and downs I am just grateful that we have a better idea of what we are needing to actually treat in my body to get to the source of my issues. And yes, I am more than confident that there is a root to all of these things that my body is having to fight.  There is always a root. By God's grace and wisdom, we will find it.


This morning I was reading a post from Amy Kratzer on Instagram and her words hit deep into my soul.  I wanted to share them as I feel God's heart for you and for me shines through what she posted.  His heart for suffering, for grace and for healing. Let it be an encouragement for you today.


Your suffering does not have the final say.


Honest lament is the soil in which your pain

and struggles can sprout new life. By God's

grace, a garden will grow in sufferings place.


He'll meet you in your valleys and stormiest of days. 

He'll give you a new song,

an anthem to grab onto, leading you into the

joy of a new morning.



Look up for the breaking of the clouds

daughter of Zion, hope is rising,

breakthrough is on its way!


Amen. Suffering is not the end - I believe it can be the beginning of a beautiful story God is writing. Yes, suffering is horrible and shows just how much of a fallen world we live in. Grieve your sorrows and suffering. I know Jesus does. Find comfort knowing that our Heavenly Father is right there with you catching every tear.  Even when others are not. But just know that our Savior is already standing in all of our tomorrows. We don't have to be fearful about what next week or next month may hold.  God has already gone ahead of us. Let this be a reminder that you are not alone and God has so much more in store for your life. More healing, more grace, more joy, more living and YES more hope. He is able.


Amy<3

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