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grace in this valley
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Down for the Count

amy • September 8, 2019

But the Lord stood with me and strengthened me.

2 Timothy 4:17

Black and white photo of Amy laying down looking sick. Hand on chest in white tank top. Hair back.

Down for the count today. Well, being bed bound most days makes it seem like I am always down for the count, but today the suffering is extremely intense and would likely send most healthy individuals running to the ER.  I need to get better about posting more of the good, the bad and the downright ugly of this valley.  There is a lot of it.  I try to actively focus on things that give me hope and renew my faith, so it's a balance I still need to figure out as I am healing. I have always just looked for the good in situations and that is no different in this valley. I have also never been one to actively seek attention - especially when it comes to the hard things in life. I am all introvert. Over three years of this valley and I am still getting used to being the one who needs ALL the help...


This past week, I actually caught my kids sore throats and colds.  Oddly enough, I was very happy about it! Hoping this means my immune system is coming back online to help me fight whatever is trying to take me down. I also added in some new therapies this week before I realized I was sick and must have stirred up something. It is often so hard to know when my body is just herxing or if it needs more detox or  support. I haven't had a normal person sickness in years so that never even crossed my mind. Most of my days feel like an endless horrible flu that just never goes away and so when it takes me down, it is hard to even describe how bad it can get. Lots and lots of praying and asking for wisdom goes into each day with this illness.


On the bright side of today, my nervous system has not freaked out and caused my spine to become completely unaligned! Praising God that I don't need an emergency chiropractic adjustment like I normally would.  God has blessed me with such amazing Doctors who are grounded in Him and have a deep compassion for those of us in these deep unknown valleys.  One of my Doctors will actually come in on weekends to adjust my crashing body because he knows it will help to reset my entire system and bring me some relief. Grateful doesn't even describe how I feel about these men God has placed in my life.


It still amazes me how each day of this journey can vary so drastically.  You never know what the day might bring when you wake up in the morning.  Constantly juggling if a supplement or therapy is going to ease your symptoms or cause you to feel worse because of all the die-off or mast cell reactions.  It's like an endless cycle and one of the hardest parts for me. I'm a type A person who likes to have a plan. I've learned slow and steady works best for me and I just need to give each day over to God. Trusting has been a huge lesson over the last few years. God's promises hold true regardless of my symptoms and I know He is able to heal and restore this body. Here's to believing tomorrow is a better day filled with less magnesium baths, binders, infrared heat packs and symptoms!


Amy<3

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