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grace in this valley
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Suffering and Grace

amy • October 25, 2022

And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.

1 Peter 5:10

This verse has breathed life into my weary soul more times than I can possibly say. If I look back over the hours that I've spent praying, weeping, wrestling, waiting and sometimes wailing with "why" - they would be far too many to count. I eventually came to a place where I had to release it at the foot of the cross because the weight and questions of it all were too much to carry.



These last several years are full of memories and stories I wish I could erase for myself and my family - moments full of extreme heartbreak, loss, helplessness, loneliness and fear. There are years where these were the type of moments we faced day in and day out with no end or relief in sight. They have all changed me.  Every single part of me. They have changed my family.



With any valley, many of these changes have consisted of the aftermath from years of relentless trauma and suffering. But God. Because of His goodness, He has also used what we have gone through to refine our family in countless ways that I would never want to undo. I've been stripped and broken and extremely battered and bruised, but I have come to experience the overpowering truth that suffering can be a gift of God's grace in my life. It has opened my eyes to so many things I would have otherwise missed and has given me a greater revelation to the power and the presence of our Lord and Savior and His redemptive story on the cross.


Grace in this Valley


This is one reason why I started my Instagram account, Grace in this Valley many years ago. I had experienced early on in my illness that grace and suffering can hold beautiful space in your journey if you view them through the lens of the cross. I wanted to share this hope with others walking similar paths. There's something about having our worldly comforts and the life we had known stripped away that allows us to experience the depth of God's love for us in a way we might not have otherwise.


I don't like the storms I've had to walk through.  They were and are still very dark and heavy.  But without these storms, I wouldn't have been able to see just how real the faithfulness of God is.  How He actually carries me when I can't handle it anymore.  For that I am grateful and want to show others that He can do the same for them.



I want to recognize that these trials over the last six years are not gifts of grace in my life. Far from it. My sickness, my son's sickness, my daughters health struggles, our massive financial losses, the earthly things mold took from us and my children's pain are all part of the dark and heavy that I wish I could erase from my life. They are confirmation that we live in a very fallen world. Each one is painful, horrible and something I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.  But through the redemption of the cross, God provided a way to pour out His purpose, hope and perfect grace into these broken areas of our story. He can bring beauty from the ashes because of His sovereignty.  He is able to use any valley season we may be in for our good and His glory.



Through my own valley, I have seen my prayers shift from asking for the things I would like to happen and trying to tell God what I think His plan should be to instead saying, "God, let Your name be glorified through this.  May You use every part of my story no matter how dark and ugly to show Your goodness in my life. I trust You. I speak the blood of Jesus over my life and my little family. Lord, show us your glory." Those are powerful words my friend. Our Heavenly Father already knows the deepest desires of our hearts.  He created those desires and He longs for us to open our hands and let Him mold and refine us so He can use our suffering for His glory and His glory alone.


Trust an Unknown Future to a Known God


None of us know what tomorrow may bring, let alone what a year from now may hold. Each year I pray, declare and believe that mine would hold full healing, restoration and the redemptive story I know my Savior is writing. I take so much comfort that our Heavenly Father, who created the heavens and the earth, already knows the next chapters of my life.  He sees all, knows all and is holding our future right in His hands. Corrie Ten Boom once said, "Never be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known God." That includes not being afraid to trust our suffering with our Heavenly Father. There is purpose in everything He does. Suffering included.



The truth of God's trustworthy character is evident in every page of Scripture.  We see evidence of this truth in His faithfulness to provide for the Israelites during their wilderness wanderings.  We see it in the covenant promises God made and kept to Abraham, Moses and David. And there is one thing God did that outshines every other example of His trustworthy nature.  He was faithful to keep the promise He made to Adam and Eve by crushing the head of the serpent.  He sent His one and only Son to earth, to die on the cross for us. The death we should have died. Jesus reigns victorious. In Him, we can have victory.


Gifts of Grace


I know I will carry the scars of my suffering from these last six years for the rest of my life and my family will too.  But thankfully, because of the Holy Spirit and His work in my life, these trials can be viewed as a gift of God's grace and my scars will be a reminder of all He has done for me.  They have loosened my grip on this world and instead allowed me to cling tightly, somedays with a death grip, to my Savior and His life-sustaining promises and power. They have broken my heart for so many things I may have otherwise missed.  Suffering is a part of this world and because of what the Bible says, we should expect it. But through these hard valleys, we can count on experiencing God's grace and renewal in ways we could never imagine as His strength daily carries us and holds us steady. 



If you keep your eyes focused on God, stay tender to His still small voice, and hold loosely to the things of this world, you will see that there are gifts of grace to be found in the darkness of whatever you may be walking through. I promise you that they are there. Ask Him to open your eyes so you can see all that He is doing and where He is leading you.  Our Heavenly Father wants to turn your suffering into a gift of grace where His name will be glorified.


Tethered to the hem of His robe with you,


Amy<3

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