Before I even opened my eyes yesterday, I knew the day ahead would be one of those extra challenging days. My body told me so in countless ways. I did what I knew to support it, but when my nervous system goes off from Lyme and friends, it tends to send my spine and every other system right along with it.
So here we are today at my clinic- thankful for Functional Doctors who think outside the box, take appointments even on their no patient days and know how to help my body reset to reduce symptoms.
One of the hardest parts of this healing journey for me? It's not the hard days or even the pain. They are expected.
It's the unpredictability of it all.
Never knowing what tomorrow may look like, how big the waves will be or how long they will last. There is no control or even knowing fully what I did or didn't do that "may" have set things off. Most times, it's just this beast of a disease that decides to roar its ugly head and nothing will stop or prevent it. The mental battles with these illnesses are often harder than any physical symptom.
It's one of the things God has been teaching me through this long valley. Letting go of control. All of it. Trusting that He can and will take care of me and every single detail way better than I ever possibly could.
I keep doing whatever I can do when I can with my earthly abilities and surrender the rest all to Him... over and over again. However many times it takes.
So no, I didn't have this appointment or additional symptoms in my plans for today. I wish I never had to. But I am very thankful for the relief an adjustment will bring and that I was able to walk in and out of the clinic on my own with a strength that continues to grow.
I extend grace. I quiet my mind. And I remind my heart how far I have come.
There is a peace and comfort God can only give knowing we don't have to figure it all out. It's too heavy a burden.
"I know what I'm doing. I have it all planned out - plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for."
Jeremiah 29:11
Let Him guide your steps. You can trust that whatever He has for you, it's far greater than anything you could do yourself! It's a daily surrender and one you may have to do multiple times a day. But the LORD will be right there with you.
Amy <3
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